I Cannot Keep Giving

I absolutely hate the way that some people seem to think that they can just take and take and take without ever giving back.

My whole life I've been surrounded by narcissists, so I shouldn't be too surprised, but here I thought we’d had a breakthrough and that it was understood that I cannot keep giving without some sort of reciprocity. Alas, not so much.

I've spent a goodly portion of the day dissociated (and really not enjoying life at all). I feel attacked again, and I don't feel secure in my own apartment.

Which is brutal, because no one except the apartment manager should have keys to my apartment. I keep wondering whether there are extra keys floating around or whether the keys are secure at the office. I haven't confirmed that anyone has come in, but feeling this unsafe is fucking exhausting.

But jokes on them, I haven't died yet, and have no plans on doing so anywhere in the near future. So, yeah, you're just decreasing your own quality of life every time you attack me. It's all connected. And karma is truly an unforgiving bitch, so you will end up getting what's coming to you.

I need to feel safe in my own home.