Hunger Is Boring

Author's note: This post has been restored from the author's original text at her request.

I woke up this morning under one of the desks in my bedroom wondering why i was not in bed and where the fuck all my money had gone. It wasn't much, but that last ten bucks in my bank account went missing. And that is the difference between eating and not eating in my world.

Last night was so surreal and yet so damned boring all at the same time. I actually felt like painting for a while instead of holing up on my tablet, so I got some more work done on the weird ass underwater painting i've been avoiding for a few months. And I got one of the white thigh high boots I got specifically so I could paint on them started.

And when I looked up from what I was doing there were fresh pee stains on my mattress, and so I started screaming, because well, when there are invisible people in your home pissing on everything you own, it's just the done thing.

I always get super angry at that shit, especially because I had actually started cleaning earlier that day, and that’s another thing that is hard for me to self-start when I'm not feeling great.

Of course because i was screaming that i needed help and to call the cops, my neighbors kept yelling at me to shut up. And then there was the garlic puking ghost.

Part of the reason I stopped painting was because it felt like someone was breathing super heavy in my face and reeking of roasted garlic, and every minutes there were partially chewed bits of garlic everywhere, on my hand, in my lap, on my shirt. It was so fucking gross, i couldnt deal with it.

I don’t really remember much after that but i’m pretty sure that i was in a bad way, cuz i was told the next morning that i had been decapitated and that the same weirdo who emptied my last ten bucks from my bank account had taken my head home with them in a jar. But they felt bad about that so they brought it back? Give me back my money too, please! Including the 50,000,000 or so in stolen artwork from the last couple of months!

So I've spent all day today trying to find ways to secure my sites and wiggle my analytics around so they can't skew my numbers too much, but it’s been frustrating because they have been trying to stop me at every turn. Its like I have to do ten extra steps for every one step that everyone else has to take in order for me to get a less than acceptable result, where everyone else’s output would be super awesome.

And yeah I’m so very bored with being poor and hungry, while those freaks waltz in and take whatever they want from me and turn around and profit off it. I would like to see some of that too, yeah?

It gets oh so boring year after year and decade after decade to be denied the fruits of my own labor, while some half wit moron with no common sense or decency is living high on the hog due to my creative streak.

The whole world might end up coming to a very soggy crashing halt soon, but they don't seem to care or notice that they’ll be the ones suffering the most, especially when they’ve been making other people do everything for them their whole lives. The folks that will survive the flooding, well, those are the ones who are at least practical enough to tie their own shoelaces, and who are willing to learn and figure it out.

Fuck, i hate being hungry.